Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Moving On

About a month ago, I wrote a letter resigning my membership in the LDS Church. Don't worry, it hasn't made it out of my "My Documents" folder, yet. But the truth is, I don't really believe in Mormonism anymore, or really religion in general. I won't go into details here, but suffice it to say, I mostly see religion as a mix of cultural traditions mixed with superstitious beliefs. Religion fills a need in peoples' lives, and for many years, Mormonism did just that for me: it gave my life meaning. In more recent times, it left my life with a larger void, and I decided to opt out. 

Well on Monday night, some well-meaning members of the Goldenwest Singles Ward showed up inviting me to some activities. It's about freakin' time! I mean, I have lived here since August, and this is the first time someone stops by?! For those of you that know me well, I promise I was nice to them. :P They brought me some goodies and told me about all the great "sisters" in the ward (at which point they probably saw my eyes roll out of my head and me hold back the laughter just a bit). I told them that I had attended BYU, served a mission, and that after Prop 8 I made a decision to leave the LDS Church.  I thanked them for stopping by and they went on their way.

Later that evening I went to the gym and the little devil on my shoulder got me thinking. Maybe it would be more fun to not resign my membership, and instead to hold out and let them keep coming by. I mean, I could have some fun with these kids. But really, I think it is about time for me to move on.

I told my mom about my plans to leave the Church a few weeks ago and she seemed a little upset, but I guess I don't really see the point in waiting to be excommunicated, assuming they eventually did excommunicate me. I guess I see excommunication as something for people who still believe in Mormonism and think that they have done something wrong. Plus if they were to excommunicate me, I would not show up to any of that anyway, so I guess for me this is just the simplest thing to do. 

This post may come as a big surprise to people, but really I have thought about this a lot over the past year. Oh, and to those who say that it is okay to leave the church, now I just need to leave it alone, I promise I will leave the LDS Church alone as soon as they leave me and my legal rights alone.

On an unrelated note, if you have not read Formerly Barred's most recent post, you really need to. It may be my favorite post ever.


drakames said...

I find myself in a similar position, meaning that I feel like I should make a decision about my church membership. I haven't done anything yet, and feel like I'm dragging my feet a bit, but I find myself thinking about it more and more. Thanks for posting this.

El Genio said...

I took the easy way out and moved my records into la la land. I suppose it's possible they'll track me down someday, but I doubt it.

Nothing terrifies me more than the thought of a church court (I doubt I would actually go) and reading the recent post by Gay LDS Actor about his excommunication broke my heart.

D-Train said...

Drakames, I think I like you have been dragging my feet, but for me I feel like it is the right time for me to take action.

El Genio, I am not sure if you are aware, but after a month or so in la la land, the LDS Church will contact your family members (most likely your parents) and ask for your address. That is how they found me, and it's likely that they will do the same for you. You'll have to let me know.

gs.rusty said...

Yeah, I've been thinking about resigning too, but another part of me wants to attend a Church court if they ever get around to excommunicating me.

Love your post - its amazes me just how similar the expereince of so many other gay exmos is.

D-Train said...

Rusty, for the longest time, I always thought that I would never want to be excommunicated, mostly because I do not believe in the LDS Church anymore, so I figured why bother going through that. I have read some moho's experiences, and they talk about it in a way that I think it had meaning to them, i.e.: they still believe in the LDS Church. I think for me, I would walk away with more of a "good riddance" feeling.

Now part of me wants to be excommunicated though, because let me tell you, the day they excommunicate me, they will regret it. I will make sure it is in the news. I personally know one of the co-founders of Equality California (a large CA gay rights group) and the founder of Californians Against Hate (who is working to expose the involvement of the LDS Church in Prop 8). I would love nothing more than to be known as the guy who was excommunicated from the LDS Church for being gay. What a PR nightmare that will be.

gs.rusty said...

Yes, I never wanted to be excommunicated either. I use to fear that part of who I was would be taken from me if I was excommunicated.

Now I understand just how way off the mark the Church is about homosexuality, and a lot of other things. Im not scared of excommunication anymore. In fact I would welcome the chance to attend a Church court simply to let my accusers know just how happy I am out of the Church, and how fulfilling my life is now. I also think I would find the whole process entertaining because of how ridiculous it all sounds.