Not all who wander are lost

Scott posted about the 10 steps to apostasy a few days ago on his blog. Well, apostasy from the LDS religion at least. I remember I used to be terrified that I would someday apostatize. You see, I lived my life in the Mormon paradigm. The true paradigm. The only way to be happy paradigm. The trouble is, I was miserable. Mormonism thrives on the belief that you will be happy if you follow their prescribed set of rules. Well, a quick read of any moho's blog will indicate pretty well the type of misery, loneliness, and anxiety that Mormonism fills gay people with. But when you believe that that is the only way to be happy, you stick with it. Oh, and you believe all the rest of it as well, but I am pretty convinced that fear of the unknown is what keeps not just gay people, but many people in Mormonism.

So when I see things like the 10 steps to apostasy, I just laugh. Oh, and I thank someone (not sure who atheists typically thank, but in this case I will thank Max) that I am no longer bound by such superstitious and self-destructive thoughts. But I can't forget that easily the fear and paranoia that was instilled in me at such a young age. Mormons sure hate gay people, but I am all but certain that they hate apostates more. I mean, these are people who had the "light" and left it all because they wanted the easy route. Or they lost faith. Or they never had any. Or they are wicked people. You see, nobody can leave Mormonism because they realize it is false, because Mormonism is the only true church. It's genius. Convince people not to think on their own and you will pretty much trap them for life as they are unable to fathom that it's all a lie.

Anyway, I am not going to go on and on forever about this, I mostly just wanted to re-create the 10 steps to apostasy from a different view point. I know Mormons will just see this as evidence of my apostasy, but oh well. I know where they are at. I was there for many years of my life. I refused to look at Mormonism objectively, and I was certain that people who left the religion were miserable and unhappy misers. Plus, they always left the church, but couldn't leave it alone (Note to readers: I will leave Mormonism alone as soon as they leave my legal rights alone).

Anyway, if I had created the 10 steps to apostasy, I would have made 12 of them because I would feel better about having completed a 12-step program, but alas, there are only 10. Maybe I will take up drinking and then go to AA meetings so that I can complete the 12-step program.

Here are the 10 steps to overcoming Mormonism(or any set of superstitious beliefs for that matter):

1. Find a cleave point.

2. Elevate that point to your brain, and analyze it objectively and rationally.

3. Seek out other objective thinkers and discuss the cleave point.

4. Search for evidence about the cleave point to validate/invalidate it.

5. Leverage that cleave point as a wedge between you and superstition/mythology.

6. Start serving in valuable opportunities in your community.

7. Publicly denounce superstitions and myths.

8. Publicly denounce false teachers and leaders.

9. Get the hell out of the church.

10. Let truth and happiness fill your life. Build honest relationships with friends and family. Expand your network beyond self-righteous hypocrites.

Oh, and one other interesting point. I am pretty sure that Mormons get people to join their religion by using the 10 steps to apostasy. Well, that and manipulation, propaganda lies, the 3 pillars of the "true Church."

More lies from the LDS Church

The Church does not object to rights (already established in California) regarding hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment rights, or probate rights, so long as these do not infringe on the integrity of the family or the constitutional rights of churches and their adherents to administer and practice their religion free from government interference. (Divine Institution of Marriage)

Legislation introduced on January 28, 2009 and passed by the [Washington] Senate on March 10, the [Washington] House on April 15, and sent to Gov. Gregoire on April 23, aims to extend the laws to encompass all state–level benefits of marriage. The new legislation would amend many of Washington's laws and place domestic partnership on an equal footing with civil marriage. Some of the additions to the 2009 SRDP laws include:

• The right to use sick leave to care for a domestic partner
• The right to wages and benefits when a domestic partner is injured, and to unpaid wages upon the death of a domestic partner
• The right to unemployment and disability insurance benefits
• The right to workers’ compensation coverage
• Insurance rights, including rights under group policies, policy rights after the death of a domestic partner, conversion rights and continuing coverage rights
• Rights related to adoption, child custody and child support
• Business succession rights. (Wikipedia)

And then the LDS Church produces this commercial on behalf of the Protect [Heterosexual] Marriage Washington group.

So the state of Washington wants to grant all of its residents equal rights, (but not marriage), and suddenly the LDS Church is opposed. I wish I was surprised by the LDS Church's lies, but I'm not. In case you didn't recognize the artwork used in the commercial, they are LDS paintings. In fact, the Adam and Eve painting is copyrighted by the LDS Church. Don't tell me they are not involved. Just more of the same from the Mormons, and sadly what we have come to expect.

Oh, and the first person to tell me how rejecting equal rights for gay and lesbian families "protects children" wins a prize.

Alternative Conference Report

So, it goes without saying that this year's Alternative Conference was absolutely fabulous. All who came were welcomed with open arms and all were edified.

This year's group included Max, John, El Genio, and me. We had all sorts of fun, and I admonish all moho's to put it down on their calendar right now for next year. Whenever we go to Disneyland we usually play spot the Mormon (they stand out pretty easily), and sadly and much to my surprise, we didn't really see any this weekend. I knew it was general conference, but I halfway expected to see a few dozen there. I was ready to call them out and ask why they were not at conference. Too bad. Oh wait, John's mom did meet us for lunch on Sunday at Downtown Disney. That was the only "practicing" Mormon I saw the whole weekend, but I guess I have to question one's devoutness when you are eating and shopping with three queers on the super bowl of Sundays.

Music for this conference was provided by the 80z All Starz who rocked it out all night at the Tomorrowland Terrace. The closing number really made me think. They covered "We're Not Gonna Take it Anymore" by Twisted Sister. As I listened to the lyrics, it really made me think that it should be the theme song for the gay rights movement. Too many gay people are passive to the whole thing and only seem willing to sit back and allow the menacing heterosexual agenda to take away our freedom and liberty and to impose their sectarian beliefs on our nation. I think fair-minded people across our country, both gay and straight, need to stand up against oppressive organizations who strive to take away the rights and liberties of others. I will allow you all to ponder this song's powerful message:

We've got the right to choose and there ain't no way we'll lose it
This is our life, this is our song
We'll fight the powers that be just, don't pick our destiny 'cause
You don't know us, you don't belong

Both days were filled with outstanding messages of encouragement, love, and acceptance (note, these concepts may be foreign to many Mormons reading this). We saw and interacted with many others throughout the weekend. A strong sense of fellowship was felt by all.

Oh, and don't even get me started on my pin trading experience. I know, seriously, who actually wears one of those lanyards around their neck with pins? Well, I do. And I had SO much fun trading with others. I got the cutest Mickey Mouse pin you can imagine.

Anyway, I won't go into too much detail so as to make you all upset for missing it, but I will just end with an invitation for all of you to come and see.

Oh what the hell

So I really was not sure I should post this, but oh well. Here goes.

Masturbation was always such a taboo topic in Mormon families, and quite honestly, I don't think I have ever heard the work mentioned in my house, and except for a few of the "serious" lessons in Priesthood where it was mentioned but not discussed, I never heard it at Church. I honestly don't think it is bad, and I think any damage caused by it is more or less related to the guilt that many religions associate with a normal action.

Anyway, here are a couple of honest thoughts about it:

I am sure nobody will believe this, but I am dead serious: I masturbated before I even knew what it was, and that is was "bad." I was always a smart guy, and didn't really have many guy friends that would talk about that kind of stuff, but I guess I just figured it out on my own. I grew up very naive. I am not kidding that I was masturbating for about 2 years before I had heard the word, and before I knew it was "bad." I was probably not even 12 the first time I did it. Needless to say, I felt awful about it, but never went very long without masturbating from the time I was about 12 to 24. I always joked to myself, if they didn't want me to do it, they should have told me that before I was already hooked. I guess that is an outcome of Mormon culture.

So yeah, all you mathematicians can figure out that I did not make it very long on my mission without pleasuring myself. In fact, I lasted about 8 days into the MTC, but if you can believe it, I did last about 5 months at one point on my mission, but then I honestly just stop caring about it. The only bishop that ever asked me about it was my freshman bishop at BYU and he asked me during the mission interview. I told him I had it under control, which I guess may have been a lie, but I never did it unless I wanted to. =)

Anyway, I continued beating myself up over it (no pun intended) through my years at BYU, and was "tempted" way more during my lame pursuits of dating girls. I eventually decided that I was not worthy to go to the temple and stopped attending. Before that I had gone weekly since returning from my mission. I later began attending at least monthly again.

Fast forward to today....

Since meeting Max, I don't even think about, let alone do it. The whole thing seems trivial now (you know, Satan has lulled me away and stuff), and I just have to laugh that I ever was so distressed over it. I think for many years I did it because it felt good, but then for many more years I did it because I felt a huge void in my life. I think that masturbation and pornography can both stem from certain unmet human needs (Mormonism calls those needs the "natural man" and that you must overcome them). I know that many believe that those "needs" will go away once a man marries a woman, but hearing about the countless stories of heartache caused by men who still look at porn and/or masturbate during marriage seems to indicate that that is not the case for many. Who knows, this is just me thinking out loud really.

But I guess if masturbation is so bad, it's just a good thing that I don't do it anymore.

For Immediate Release

Alternative Conference set for Oct. 3-4

The Official Gay Agenda

Tuesday, Sep. 29, 2009

The 12th Annual Alternative Conference of the Latter-gay church, to which all members are invited, will convene at the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, California, on Saturday and Sunday, Oct. 3 and 4, 2009, with general sessions held at Disneyland on Saturday at 8 a.m. and California Adventure on Sunday at 10 a.m. Pacific Standard Time.

A special pre-Conference Pride Cocktail hour will be held on Friday, Oct. 2, 2009, at 5 p.m. PST at the Grand Californian Hotel.

In those areas where members of the church can conveniently attend the conference in Anaheim, or participate via radio, television, satellite or Internet transmission at www.gaydaysanaheim.com, they should be encouraged to do so. Under these circumstances the usual Sunday meetings need not be held on Oct. 4.

In areas where only one Sunday session is broadcast, local leaders have the option to adjust meeting schedules or, where appropriate, to rearrange the agenda of regularly scheduled meetings to permit their members to listen to or watch alternative conference by radio, television, satellite or Internet transmission.

This and that

I wrote the letter months ago, but it just sat in my "My Documents" folder. I needed an excuse to finally send my resignation letter in. Check.

Next I needed an excuse to never step foot on their property again. Check.

My to do list is getting shorter and shorter.

Stranger in Moscow

So, as I have learned today, some people love him, some people don't. I love him, always have. Never believed what the tabloids said about him, and felt strongly that he had nothing but good intentions. He changed pop music forever, changed dance forever, influenced pop culture more than we will ever realize (can you imagine MTV without him?) and today the world mourned him.

I know this may sound lame, but I cried. And I was at work sitting next to my co-worker watching and listening on line. Luckily my back was to her most of the time.

It's interesting to hear the comparisons being made to Princess Diana's funeral on TV. I have never really told anyone this, but I started writing in a journal because of her death. In a sense, this blog is just an extension of that journal. I can't quite describe why, but I was always fascinated with the British Royal family, and especially the Princess Diana. Though I was only a teenager, I admired her for her kindness and caring attitude. Though many will only remember Michale for the accusations, or his music, I will remember his kindness. I will always remember Heal the World. I think those that are closest to him expressed pretty well what an amazing person he really was.

Anyway, I hope that eventually people will remember him not just for his music, but for his kind and giving attitude. If you think about his involvement in humanitarian aid in the 1980's and 1990's, I think you see the real MJ. Unfortunately, the 1990's saw his life filled with controversy and scandal. I can't imagine how he felt with people constantly attacking him. I can only imagine how sad he felt by giving his life to the world, only to be treated the way he was. Undoubtedly, he made mistakes, but I have to say that I personally think the man was filled only with love and kindness. To see his daughter stand before the world and declare that he was the best father, was amazing. I hope the best for his family. To think that the world has lost a star, and they have lost their father really puts things in perspective. To realize how much he went out of his way to protect his children, can be a lesson to all.

His music has always had an impact on me. I have always loved his music. I have always said that life is a soundtrack waiting to happen, and for me, there are so many of his songs which will always remind me of different parts of my life where his songs impacted me. So many people only remember Billy Jean and Thriller (which are definitely amazing songs) but there is so much more music that I think is under appreciated. The song Stranger in Moscow has made me sad to realize that how alone he felt at times, and I think in our own way, so many of us can relate to his words.

How does it feel
When you're alone
And you're cold inside

Rest in Peace MJ. I'l miss you.