tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51062092990488037552024-02-08T10:33:21.680-08:00The life of just oneNow with twice the fun!D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-87557950027227261152010-08-08T23:41:00.001-07:002010-08-08T23:54:29.888-07:00So this is how rumors beginEver heard that Steve Martin is Mormon? Or Alice Cooper? Or Christina Aguilera? Yeah, well, this is how these types of rumors get started, except this one is true.<br /><br />I don't blog much anymore, but my last post was about my newfound love of <a href="http://www.logotv.com/shows/rupauls_drag_race/season_1/series.jhtml">RuPaul's Drag Race</a>, and at the end of that post I proposed that <a href="http://www.missravenonline.com/">Raven</a> was going to win it all. Well, she ended up with second (I was quite upset over it all, but oh well, from what I can tell, people love her WAY more).<br /><br />Anyway, she (or he I suppose, his real name is David) is from Riverside, CA so we see him occasionally at clubs in West Hollywood or around town. Well, I have had a little bit of a crush on him and finally yesterday we talked to him for about 20 minutes at the beach, and guess who was raised Mormon? Yep. You heard it here first, Raven was raised Mormon. In fact his mom is RS president and his stepdad is in the elders quorum presidency in Victorville. I knew there was a reason I loved that bitch so much.D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-28231831048323798482010-02-17T22:59:00.000-08:002010-02-18T00:15:46.150-08:00Gentleman, start your engines...So I was contemplating the other day the various phases I have gone through in terms of accepting myself, and not being afraid of who I am. When I first accepted that I was gay and then came out to family and friends, I always felt this need to add a disclaimer that I was never going to be "one of those gays." Not that my music collection wasn't already overrun with Pet Shop Boys and Madonna, nor my swimsuit drawer filled with skimpy bathing suits, or my mannerisms, well perhaps a little flamboyant. But for some reason I wanted to convince myself and others that I wasn't "that gay."<br /><br />Gay pride parades? No thanks. Gay bars and clubs? Never. Every time I learned something about gay society that I previously was unaware of, I was almost proud of being ignorant of these segments of gay culture. Well let me just say it now, I love <a href="http://www.logotv.com/shows/rupauls_drag_race/season_2/series.jhtml">RuPaul's Drag Race</a>. I am seriously in love with this show. Ever since the first West Hollywood Costume Caranval that Max and I attended, I have been mildly fascinated with drag culture and I think RuPaul's Drag Race is fantastic.<br /><br />After I watched a couple of episodes of season 2, I realized that I was quite ignorant of RuPaul and I became curious of how he became famous. I remember knowing about him since I was a kid, so I did a little <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RuPaul">internet research</a> to find out where he got his start. I was quite surprised by what I learned about him from Wikipedia, but even more fascinating was an <a href="http://en.wikinews.org/wiki/RuPaul_speaks_about_society_and_the_state_of_drag_as_performance_art">interview</a> I found online that he had given a couple years back. Based on what I have read, RuPaul appears to be a very intelligent and articulate person. I don't know why I would have assumed anything else, but I guess I had my own preconceived ideas of what kind of person he was. The following dialogue I found especially interesting as it relates to my own person experiences. DS is the interviewer, and RP is RuPaul:<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 153);">DS: It seems like years ago, and my recollection might be fuzzy, but it seems like I read a mainstream media piece that talked about how you wanted to break out of the RuPaul 'character' and be seen as more than just RuPaul.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 255);">RP: Well, RuPaul is my real name and that’s who I am and who I have always been. There’s the product RuPaul that I have sold in business. Does the product feel like it’s been put into a box? Could you be more clear? It’s a hard question to answer.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 153);">DS: That you wanted to be seen as more than just RuPaul the drag queen, but also for the man and versatile artist that you are.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 255);">RP: That’s not on target. What other people think of me is not my business. What I do is what I do. How people see me doesn’t change what I decide to do. I don’t choose projects so people don’t see me as one thing or another. I choose projects that excite me. I think the problem is that people refuse to understand what drag is outside of their own belief system. A friend of mine recently did the Oprah show about transgendered youth. It was obvious that we, as a culture, have a hard time trying to understand the difference between a drag queen, transsexual, and a transgender, yet we find it very easy to know the difference between the American baseball league and the National baseball league, when they are both so similar. We’ll learn the difference to that. One of my hobbies is to research and go underneath ideas to discover why certain ones stay in place while others do not. Like Adam and Eve, which is a flimsy fairytale story, yet it is something that people believe; what, exactly, keeps it in place?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 153);">DS: What keeps people from knowing the difference between what is real and important, and what is not?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 255);">RP: Our belief systems. If you are a Christian then your belief system doesn’t allow for transgender or any of those things, and you then are going to have a vested interest in not understanding that. Why? Because if one peg in your belief system doesn’t work or doesn’t fit, the whole thing will crumble. So some people won’t understand the difference between a transvestite and transsexual. They will not understand that no matter how hard you force them to because it will mean deconstructing their whole belief system. If they understand Adam and Eve is a parable or fairytale, they then have to rethink their entire belief system.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 255);">As to me being seen as whatever, I was more likely commenting on the phenomenon of our culture. I am creative, and I am all of those things you mention, and doing one thing out there and people seeing it, it doesn’t matter if people know all that about me or not.</span><br /><br />I really think he is spot on in his assessment of religious people and is quite accurate for many Mormons, at least it was for me. Also, the idea that people refuse to get to know people because it will require them to deconstruct their false ideas is something that I have encountered quite often. Overall, I was quite impressed with what he said.<br /><br />Anyway, if you don't get Logo, I recommend that you go online and watch the shows, I promise they are not as icky as you were raised to believe, and the show overall is very entertaining. Oh, and you heard it here first, Raven is going to win the race. She is absolutely beautiful, and if you have seen the show and know me, you will know why I love her so much.D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-36253031334214157802010-02-11T23:36:00.000-08:002010-02-11T23:54:03.196-08:00Can someone please pass the Kool-Aid?A kid from one of my wards in Provo posted today on Facebook that his mission in Italy is being consolidated into a neighboring mission. Below his post, he had a link to a <a href="http://www.italymissions.com/news.html#Jan2010_change">letter</a> which was written from the mission president to the missionaries currently serving in the mission. After reading the letter I almost fell out of my chair laughing.<br /><br />Was I really ever that deficient that I would have read that letter and thought it was great to see a mission closing? Yeah, probably. Not some of my proudest days.<br /><br />In unrelated news, <a href="http://www.latimes.com/business/nationworld/wire/sns-ap-us-earns-boston-scientific,0,7653229.story">Boston Scientific</a> announced the consolidation of two of its business units in order to cut costs amid declining revenues.D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-28848588856526929882010-02-06T16:46:00.000-08:002010-02-15T21:58:03.176-08:00I don't hate Mormons (that much)So more than a few people have accused me of being anti-Mormon, or angry, or whatever your favorite term for people who leave the LDS religion but cannot leave it alone is. While I understand that those who know me from my blog will definitely see me as someone who wants nothing more than displeasure for the LDS religion and its leaders, those who know me better know that my disdain is widespread for all organizations who push their agendas in favor of the greater good and do so through deceitful and dishonest (though often legal) means.<br /><br />Of course, I am obviously very familiar with the LDS religion after having spent all of my life in it until I was 25. And I do have very strong feelings against that religion for exactly that reason, I spent many years in it, and for many years I like most Mormons refused to look at it objectively. I was an avid defender of that so-called "faith." Realizing that the leaders of my religion were just like the leaders of every other organization, in that they are ultimately concerned with their power and place in society, was well, disheartening. I had always wanted to believe that I was part of the greater good, and after getting a glimpse of how the LDS religion really <a href="http://www.mormongate.com/document1.html">works on the inside</a>, I was a little disenfranchised. That being said, I am opposed to any organization that lies and covers up its motives and uses the loose disclosure requirements in the US to push its agenda.<br /><br />Anyway, now on to the point of today's post. Many people have probably heard that testimony in the federal challenge against Prop 8 ended recently, and Judge Walker (you know, the judicial activist, flaming-liberal Republican originally nominated by Reagan and then appointed by Gerorge H. W. Bush) is now reviewing the evidence before closing statements are made. Unfortunately, the SCOTUS blocked the YouTube broadcast of the trial which would have been a very eye-opening experience for many Americans, to finally see how absolutely stupid and baseless the "arguments" in favor or Prop 8 really are. Most proponents of Prop 8 can't seem to get over their "we've voted on it twice, just let it be!" argument to understand that the Constitution provides equal protection for all citizens, regardless of what the will of the masses is.<br /><br />I followed much of the trial via live blogging on <a href="http://prop8trialtracker.com/">prop8trialtracker.com</a>, and later read most of the transcripts on <a href="http://www.equalrightsfoundation.org/our-work/hearing-transcripts/">equalrightsfoundation.org</a>. They are very revealing not just about the general motivations of the Proponents of Prop 8, but also the close ties between certain organizations, and protectmarriage.com, the official organization behind Prop 8. So with that being said, let's analyze some of the documents entered into as evidence during the trial and compare those with the PR statements of the LDS religion that were released during the election of 2008.<br /><br />The following records were read into the court record on <a href="http://www.equalrightsfoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Transcript-from-Wed.pdf">Day 7</a> of the trial, and you can check them out for yourself.<br /><br />On Page 1608, beginning in line 23, a letter from the Catholic Conference of Bishops to the bishops within the conference states:"Of course, this campaign owes an enormous debt to the LDS Church. I will comment specifically at a later time, under separate cover, about their financial, organizational, and management contribution to the success of the effort. The ProtectMarriage.com campaign has surpassed $37 million in donations."<br /><br />On page 1622, line 9, an internal memo from Mark Jannson, who is on the LDS Church's Public Affairs Committee, we learn the following: "Since the First Presidency <a href="http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/california-and-same-sex-marriage">letter</a> was read in every ward throughout California last month, I have been frequently asked what our role in Public Affairs will be in the Prop 8 campaign." Continuing on line 20, "As you know from the First Presidency letter, this campaign is entirely under the priesthood direction - in concert with leaders of many other faiths and community groups forming part of the ProtectMarraige.com Coalition. I believe [name redacted] will be the LDS chair for all of California."<br /><br />Page 1623, line 8 continues, "All of us working in public affairs will simply stand by and prepare to be anxiously engaged, like all citizens and lay members, when that time comes." Line 17 continues, "What is the next step in this campaign? I understand that all grass roots organizing efforts in OC will be led by Gary Lawrence, who will report directly to the ProtectMarriage.com Coalition leaders." Gary Lawrence is an member of the LDS religion who owns a polling company in Orange County.<br /><br />Page 1627, line 11 continues with, "He has also been hired by the coalition to do polling work for Prop 8. The main California grass roots leaders are in the process of being called as, "area directors," with the responsibility for areas that generally correspond to each of the 17 LDS coordinating councils for the LDS mission boundaries. Thereafter, priesthood leaders will call local prop coordinators over each stake and leaders by zip code within each ward - potentially working not only with LDS, but also LDS volunteers."<br /><br />Let's compare those internal documents with the statements publicly made by the LDS PR department: "the Church accepted an invitation to participate in ProtectMarriage, a coalition of churches, organizations, and individuals sponsoring a November ballot measure, Proposition 8, that would amend the California state constitution to ensure that only a marriage between a man and a woman would be legally recognized" (from the so-called <a href="http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/the-divine-institution-of-marriage">Divine Institution of Marriage</a> document put out by the LDS PR department).<br /><br />The day <a href="http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/news-releases-stories/church-responds-to-same-sex-marriage-votes">after</a> the election, they released another statement that, "before [the LDS religion] accepted the invitation to join broad-based coalitions for the amendments..."<br /><br />Both statements have a similar theme of implying that the LDS religion was just part of a coalition, not leading it. Based on the internal documents released during the trial, this is clearly not the case.<br /><br />I am not going to go on and on about this, because I think it is clear that the LDS religion played a big role in Prop 8, and not just because the Mormons did a good job, but because the LDS religion was orchestrating the entire effort. If the LDS religion would own up to this, I would probably let it be, but they won't. They continue to cover their tracks by pushing their money through organizations like "National Organization for Marriage" which does not have to report its contributions. I know that practicing Mormons refuse to believe it, and those who do will justify that it is all legal, and that their religion has the "right" to do what it does, all of which I am not disputing. The LDS church has not broken any laws, but that's not saying much. Most of the politicking that goes on in this country is entirely legally. But that does not make it right. And I always hoped that an organization that claims to be inspired and from a higher source would be above it all. Prop 8 has helped me realize what most others already knew, that the LDS religion is like any other.<br /><span style=";font-family:";font-size:10pt;" ><o:p></o:p></span>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-18499166822188090272010-01-17T18:29:00.000-08:002010-01-17T23:15:13.903-08:00I don't make New Year's ResloutionsI have never really made New Year's resolutions, and 2010 will be no exception. I think for many people it works, but to me it just seems silly to make goals that typically last about one month. That's not to say I am not making and attaining goals in my life, just that I don't see much value in doing it once a year only. So this year, I did not make a New Year's resolution to write on my blog more. Mostly, because part of me thinks if I don't want to write, why should I. But there has been a lot on my mind recently that I felt the need to share with a bunch of people I don't know, and a few that do.<br /><br />Too bad right now I can't remember what any of that was, so I will just give a brief update for now, and hopefully this won't be my last blog for months.<br /><br />My personal life has never been better. <a href="http://mymormonjourney.blogspot.com/">Max</a> and I will have been together two years this March, so I guess right now that makes it about 22 months. Sometimes it seems so surreal. It certainly has gone by quickly and I have started to understand how 2 years can quickly become 15 or 50. I think if you had asked me two years ago if I thought I would ever be this happy, I would have said no. I do recall writing somewhere back at the beginning of my blog, before I even addressed my being gay, that I thought that my life would be very different in a couple of years, and it is. The biggest change? I am happy. My life has meaning now and I feel that all of the other aspects of life that I used to worry about, just seem like minor events in the course of my life.<br /><br />Work, although I still don't love my job, is way more tolerable now that it seems like I am doing it for a reason. There is a reason for my future, a reason to work too many hours, and at least now there is something to make me smile when I get home. Loneliness and anxiety have been replaced in my life with love and friendship. In addition to Max, my friendships with others have become stronger, I have made many new friends, and I feel generally more concerned with others. That feeling of being emotionally void is long gone.<br /><br />My relationship with my family has also improved. While at my parents house in 2008 for Christmas, I told my mom that I enjoyed coming home, but would not be doing so alone anymore (she knew about Max, but at that time he was not talked about much). I told her she could make the decision as to whether or I would come home anymore, since it was her home. Well Mom and Dad progressed quickly and we stayed with my parents twice during the summer, and had invites to stay at both sets of parents' homes for Christmas 2009. We ended up staying with my sister because there was the most room there. While both sets of parents still have a ways to go in terms of mutual respect, understanding, and objectivity, in terms of our relationship, it is clear that both parents understand that we will be in each others' lives for a while, and both families love and accept us. His parents even came over to my parents house during the holiday break and his older sister was down here this weekend for Max's birthday.<br /><br />One last thing. I suppose it it clear from my previous posts that Mormonism has finally freed me from its grasp. I know many mohos would not use those terms to describe the event of leaving Mormonism, but it best describes the way I feel about it. I think I have mentioned earlier my general disposal of what I consider to be all things superstitious, but suffice it to say I don't believe in any of it. I don't really feel like an atheist, because even that seems unnecessary. To me it is quite liberating to watch a 2 hours special today on the evolution of the planet, mammals, and humans without having to try to understand how that all fits into this Judeo-Christian paradigm that I grew up with, because well, it's all nonsense. I don't mean that as an assault on anyone's beliefs, but that is just where I am at.<br /><br />OK, one more thing (yes, I know I said that before), but I guess this is one other area in which I have recently evolved. Growing up in California, and being "brain-washed" from an early age in all things liberal, I was doomed from the start to ever be one of those "neo-con" patriots as I call them. And now I have finally come to the point where I can say this without fear: I don't like America. I don't care for the culture, the vast majority of the people, the obsession with wealth, religion, and power. I am over it. I used to joke that I was just in "like" with America (as opposed to being in love), but let's be real: if I could convince Max to leave this country tomorrow, we would be on the first flight to anywhere. Our trip at the end of 2009 to <a href="http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2306530&id=17817594&l=fa614f7f5a">Sydney and New Zealand</a> really just solidified that idea into me, and I have finally disconnected from this country enough that I no longer really care what goes on here. It's been an interesting journey for sure, since we are constantly reminded that we live in the wealthiest and most powerful country on the planet. It's just a shame that wealth and power don't add up to much else. Oh well. Being disconnected from here makes it a little bit more enjoyable since I don't get wound up by either political party's charades anymore. That being said, I still follow closely the events in my home state and find my self mildly interested in what goes on here. Some of my future blogs may address what is going on here politically, but not much nationally interests me.<br /><br />So that is it for now, hopefully this blog doesn't remain so dormant this year, with perhaps a wider array of topics being discussed.D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-60747644667469137532009-10-13T23:07:00.000-07:002009-10-13T23:45:34.873-07:00Not all who wander are lost<a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/15332275934258698026">Scott </a>posted about the <a href="http://mormoninthecloset.blogspot.com/2009/10/leave-it-to-cleave-r.html">10 steps to apostasy</a> a few days ago on his blog. Well, apostasy from the LDS religion at least. I remember I used to be <a href="http://derrickndavis.blogspot.com/2008/03/what-next.html">terrified </a>that I would someday apostatize. You see, I lived my life in the Mormon paradigm. The true paradigm. The only way to be happy paradigm. The trouble is, I was miserable. Mormonism thrives on the belief that you will be happy if you follow their prescribed set of rules. Well, a quick read of any moho's blog will indicate pretty well the type of misery, loneliness, and anxiety that Mormonism fills gay people with. But when you believe that that is the only way to be happy, you stick with it. Oh, and you believe all the rest of it as well, but I am pretty convinced that fear of the unknown is what keeps not just gay people, but many people in Mormonism.<div><br /></div><div>So when I see things like the 10 steps to apostasy, I just laugh. Oh, and I thank someone (not sure who atheists typically thank, but in this case I will thank <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/14955796304197971564">Max</a>) that I am no longer bound by such superstitious and self-destructive thoughts. But I can't forget that easily the fear and paranoia that was instilled in me at such a young age. Mormons sure hate gay people, but I am all but certain that they hate apostates more. I mean, these are people who had the "light" and left it all because they wanted the easy route. Or they lost faith. Or they never had any. Or they are wicked people. You see, nobody can leave Mormonism because they realize it is false, because Mormonism is the only true church. It's genius. Convince people not to think on their own and you will pretty much trap them for life as they are unable to fathom that it's all a lie.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, I am not going to go on and on forever about this, I mostly just wanted to re-create the 10 steps to apostasy from a different view point. I know Mormons will just see this as evidence of my apostasy, but oh well. I know where they are at. I was there for many years of my life. I refused to look at Mormonism objectively, and I was certain that people who left the religion were miserable and unhappy misers. Plus, they always left the church, but couldn't leave it alone (Note to readers: I will leave Mormonism alone as soon as they leave my legal rights alone).</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, if I had created the 10 steps to apostasy, I would have made 12 of them because I would feel better about having completed a 12-step program, but alas, there are only 10. Maybe I will take up drinking and then go to AA meetings so that I can complete the 12-step program.</div><div><br /></div><div>Here are the 10 steps to overcoming Mormonism(or any set of superstitious beliefs for that matter):</div><div>1. Find a cleave point.</div><div>2. Elevate that point to your brain, and analyze it objectively and rationally.</div><div>3. Seek out other objective thinkers and discuss the cleave point.</div><div>4. Search for evidence about the cleave point to validate/invalidate it.</div><div>5. Leverage that cleave point as a wedge between you and superstition/mythology.</div><div>6. Start serving in valuable opportunities in your community.</div><div>7. Publicly denounce superstitions and myths. </div><div>8. Publicly denounce false teachers and leaders.</div><div>9. Get the hell out of the church.</div><div>10. Let truth and happiness fill your life. Build honest relationships with friends and family. Expand your network beyond self-righteous hypocrites.</div><div><br /></div><div>Oh, and one other interesting point. I am pretty sure that Mormons get people to join their religion by using the 10 steps to apostasy. Well, that and manipulation, propaganda lies, the 3 pillars of the "true Church."</div>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-6400015855973303832009-10-07T18:44:00.000-07:002009-10-07T18:59:50.583-07:00More lies from the LDS Church<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:15px;"></span></span></p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;font-size:130%;"><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The Church does not object to rights (already established in </span></i><st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">California</span></i></st1:place></st1:state><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">) regarding hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment rights, or probate rights, so long as these do not infringe on the integrity of the family or the constitutional rights of churches and their adherents to administer and practice their religion free from government interference.</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> (</span><a href="http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/the-divine-institution-of-marriage"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Divine Institution of Marriage</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">)</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Legislation introduced on January 28, 2009 and passed by the [Washington] Senate on March 10, the [Washington] House on April 15, and sent to Gov. Gregoire on April 23, aims to extend the laws to encompass all state–level benefits of marriage. The new legislation would amend many of </span></i><st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Washington</span></i></st1:place></st1:state><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">'s laws and place domestic partnership on an equal footing with civil marriage. Some of the additions to the 2009 SRDP laws include:</span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><ul style="margin-top:0in" type="disc"> <li class="MsoNormal"><span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The right to use sick leave to care for a domestic partner</span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></li> <li class="MsoNormal"><span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The right to wages and benefits when a domestic partner is injured, and to unpaid wages upon the death of a domestic partner</span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></li> <li class="MsoNormal"><span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The right to unemployment and disability insurance benefits</span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></li> <li class="MsoNormal"><span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The right to workers’ compensation coverage</span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></li> <li class="MsoNormal"><span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Insurance rights, including rights under group policies, policy rights after the death of a domestic partner, conversion rights and continuing coverage rights</span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></li> <li class="MsoNormal"><span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Rights related to adoption, child custody and child support</span></i></span></li><li class="MsoNormal"><span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Business succession rights. </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">(</span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_partnership_in_Washington"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Wikipedia</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">)</span></span></li></ul><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And then the LDS Church produces this commercial on behalf of the Protect [Heterosexual] Marriage Washington group.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" white-space: pre; font-family:Arial, sans-serif;"><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8LItKZ8jj4Y&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8LItKZ8jj4Y&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So the state of Washington wants to grant all of its residents equal rights, (but not marriage), and suddenly the LDS Church is opposed. I wish I was surprised by the LDS Church's lies, but I'm not. In case you didn't recognize the artwork used in the commercial, they are LDS paintings. In fact, the Adam and Eve painting is copyrighted by the LDS Church. Don't tell me they are not involved. Just more of the same from the Mormons, and sadly what we have come to expect.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Oh, and the first person to tell me how rejecting equal rights for gay and lesbian families "protects children" wins a prize.</span></div><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:11.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p></p><p></p></span><p></p>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-57948758588625444502009-10-06T22:46:00.000-07:002009-10-07T19:40:31.073-07:00Alternative Conference ReportSo, it goes without saying that this year's <a href="http://www.gaydaysanaheim.com/">Alternative Conference</a> was absolutely fabulous. All who came were welcomed with open arms and all were edified. <div><br /></div><div>This year's group included <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/14955796304197971564">Max</a>, <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/14352184525331529585">John</a>, <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/02801064758712821345">El Genio</a>, and me. We had all sorts of fun, and I admonish all moho's to put it down on their calendar right now for next year. Whenever we go to Disneyland we usually play spot the Mormon (they stand out pretty easily), and sadly and much to my surprise, we didn't really see any this weekend. I knew it was general conference, but I halfway expected to see a few dozen there. I was ready to call them out and ask why they were not at conference. Too bad. Oh wait, John's mom did meet us for lunch on Sunday at Downtown Disney. That was the only "practicing" Mormon I saw the whole weekend, but I guess I have to question one's devoutness when you are eating and shopping with three queers on the super bowl of Sundays.</div><div><br /></div><div>Music for this conference was provided by the <a href="http://www.80zallstars.com/">80z All Starz</a> who rocked it out all night at the Tomorrowland Terrace. The closing number really made me think. They covered "We're Not Gonna Take it Anymore" by Twisted Sister. As I listened to the lyrics, it really made me think that it should be the theme song for the gay rights movement. Too many gay people are passive to the whole thing and only seem willing to sit back and allow the menacing heterosexual agenda to take away our freedom and liberty and to impose their sectarian beliefs on our nation. I think fair-minded people across our country, both gay and straight, need to stand up against oppressive organizations who strive to take away the rights and liberties of others. I will allow you all to ponder this song's powerful message:</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(71, 71, 71); line-height: 23px; font-family:'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i>We've got the right to choose and there ain't no way we'll lose it<br />This is our life, this is our song<br />We'll fight the powers that be just, don't pick our destiny 'cause<br />You don't know us, you don't belong</i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Times New Roman', serif;color:#474747;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 23px;font-size:medium;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div>Both days were filled with outstanding messages of encouragement, love, and acceptance (note, these concepts may be foreign to many Mormons reading this). We saw and interacted with many others throughout the weekend. A strong sense of fellowship was felt by all. </div><div><br /></div><div>Oh, and don't even get me started on my pin trading experience. I know, seriously, who actually wears one of those lanyards around their neck with pins? Well, I do. And I had SO much fun trading with others. I got the cutest Mickey Mouse pin you can imagine. </div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, I won't go into too much detail so as to make you all upset for missing it, but I will just end with an invitation for all of you to come and see.</div>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-90147481855319145062009-09-30T23:40:00.000-07:002009-10-01T00:07:22.885-07:00Oh what the hellSo I really was not sure I should post this, but oh well. Here goes.<div><br /></div><div>Masturbation was always such a taboo topic in Mormon families, and quite honestly, I don't think I have ever heard the work mentioned in my house, and except for a few of the "serious" lessons in Priesthood where it was mentioned but not discussed, I never heard it at Church. I honestly don't think it is bad, and I think any damage caused by it is more or less related to the guilt that many religions associate with a normal action.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, here are a couple of honest thoughts about it:</div><div><br /></div><div>I am sure nobody will believe this, but I am dead serious: I masturbated before I even knew what it was, and that is was "bad." I was always a smart guy, and didn't really have many guy friends that would talk about that kind of stuff, but I guess I just figured it out on my own. I grew up very naive. I am not kidding that I was masturbating for about 2 years before I had heard the word, and before I knew it was "bad." I was probably not even 12 the first time I did it. Needless to say, I felt awful about it, but never went very long without masturbating from the time I was about 12 to 24. I always joked to myself, if they didn't want me to do it, they should have told me that before I was already hooked. I guess that is an outcome of Mormon culture.</div><div><br /></div><div>So yeah, all you mathematicians can figure out that I did not make it very long on my mission without pleasuring myself. In fact, I lasted about 8 days into the MTC, but if you can believe it, I did last about 5 months at one point on my mission, but then I honestly just stop caring about it. The only bishop that ever asked me about it was my freshman bishop at BYU and he asked me during the mission interview. I told him I had it under control, which I guess may have been a lie, but I never did it unless I wanted to. =)</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, I continued beating myself up over it (no pun intended) through my years at BYU, and was "tempted" way more during my lame pursuits of dating girls. I eventually decided that I was not worthy to go to the temple and stopped attending. Before that I had gone weekly since returning from my mission. I later began attending at least monthly again.</div><div><br /></div><div>Fast forward to today....</div><div><br /></div><div>Since meeting Max, I don't even think about, let alone do it. The whole thing seems trivial now (you know, Satan has lulled me away and stuff), and I just have to laugh that I ever was so distressed over it. I think for many years I did it because it felt good, but then for many more years I did it because I felt a huge void in my life. I think that masturbation and pornography can both stem from certain unmet human needs (Mormonism calls those needs the "natural man" and that you must overcome them). I know that many believe that those "needs" will go away once a man marries a woman, but hearing about the countless stories of heartache caused by men who still look at porn and/or masturbate during marriage seems to indicate that that is not the case for many. Who knows, this is just me thinking out loud really.</div><div><br /></div><div>But I guess if masturbation is so bad, it's just a good thing that I don't do it anymore.</div>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-29734221229881337902009-09-29T13:07:00.001-07:002009-09-29T13:13:51.596-07:00For Immediate Release<p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-line-height-alt:17.25pt"><span style="letter-spacing:.25pt;font-size:18.0pt;color:#4074AB;">Alternative Conference set for Oct. 3-4<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:11.25pt"><i><span style=" ;font-family:Arial;font-size:9.0pt;color:#686F72;"><o:p> The Official Gay Agenda</o:p></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:11.25pt"><i><span style=" ;font-family:Arial;font-size:9.0pt;color:#686F72;">Tuesday, Sep. 29, 2009</span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12.75pt"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:10.5pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">The 12th Annual Alternative </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Conference of the Latter-gay church, to which all members are invited, will convene at the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, California, on Saturday and Sunday, Oct. 3 and 4, 2009, with general sessions held at Disneyland on Saturday at 8 a.m. and California Adventure on Sunday at 10 a.m. Pacific Standard Time.<br /><br />A special pre-Conference Pride Cocktail hour will be held on Friday, Oct. 2, 2009, at 5 p.m. PST at the Grand Californian Hotel.<br /><br />In those areas where members of the church can conveniently attend the conference in </span><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Anaheim</span></st1:city></st1:place><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">, or participate via radio, television, satellite or Internet transmission at www.gaydaysanaheim.com, they should be encouraged to do so. Under these circumstances the usual Sunday meetings need not be held on Oct. 4.<br /><br />In areas where only one Sunday session is broadcast, local leaders have the option to adjust meeting schedules or, where appropriate, to rearrange the agenda of regularly scheduled meetings to permit their members to listen to or watch alternative conference by radio, television, satellite or Internet transmission</span>.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-78208441257480413982009-09-28T21:05:00.001-07:002009-09-28T21:09:53.669-07:00This and thatI wrote the letter months ago, but it just sat in my "My Documents" folder. I needed an excuse to finally send my resignation letter in. <a href="http://www.sltrib.com/ci_13377659">Check</a>.<br /><div><br /></div><div>Next I needed an excuse to never step foot on their property again. <a href="http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_13439935">Check</a>.</div><div><br /></div><div>My to do list is getting shorter and shorter.</div>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-13330638924621752912009-07-07T20:52:00.000-07:002009-08-20T22:52:12.166-07:00Stranger in Moscow<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So, as I have learned today, some people love him, some people don't. I love him, always have. Never believed what the tabloids said about him, and felt strongly that he had nothing but good intentions. He changed pop music forever, changed dance forever, </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">influenced</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> pop culture more than we will ever realize (can you imagine MTV without him?) and today the world mourned him.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I know this may sound lame, but I cried. And I was at work sitting next to my co-worker watching and listening on line. Luckily my back was to her most of the time. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">It's interesting to hear the comparisons being made to Princess Diana's funeral on TV. I have never really told anyone this, but I started writing in a journal because of her death. In a sense, this blog is just an extension of that journal. I can't quite describe why, but I was always fascinated with the British Royal family, and especially the Princess Diana. Though I was only a teenager, I admired her for her kindness and caring attitude. Though many will only remember Michale for the accusations, or his music, I will remember his kindness. I will always remember </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W61Q-EZ8R7M"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Heal the World</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. I think those that are closest to him expressed pretty well what an amazing person he really was.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Anyway, I hope that eventually people will remember him not just for his music, but for his kind and giving attitude. If you think about his </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">involvement</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> in </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">humanitarian</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> aid in the 1980's and 1990's, I think you see the real </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">MJ</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Unfortunately</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, the 1990's saw his life filled with controversy and scandal. I can't imagine how he felt with people constantly attacking him. I can only imagine how sad he felt by giving his life to the world, only to be treated the way he was. </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Undoubtedly</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, he made </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">mistakes</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, but I have to say that I personally think the man was filled only with love and kindness. To see his daughter stand before the world and declare that he was the best father, was amazing. I hope the best for his family. To think that the world has lost a star, and they have lost their father really puts things in perspective. To realize how much he went out of his way to protect his children, can be a lesson to all.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">His music has always had an impact on me. I have always loved his music. I have always said that life is a soundtrack waiting to happen, and for me, there are so many of his songs which will always remind me of different parts of my life where his songs impacted me. So many people only remember </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En-cHBv7UpA&feature=channel_page"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Billy Jean</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> and </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtyJbIOZjS8"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Thriller</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> (which are definitely amazing songs) but there is so much more music that I think is </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">under appreciated</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. The song </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfZz-q8CRLE"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Stranger in Moscow</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> has made me sad to realize that how alone he felt at times, and I think in our own way, so many of us can relate to his words.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">How does it feel<br />When you're alone<br />And you're cold inside</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Rest in Peace </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">MJ</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'l</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> miss you.</span></span></div>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-58796309216496667662009-07-04T00:16:00.000-07:002009-07-04T00:47:06.693-07:00Meeting the famSo last weekend my sister was married in Utah. Max and I flew up for the wedding which was a garden wedding in Alpine, just a couple miles from where my parents live now. It was nice, and of course, the first time Max would meet all the family at once. He had previously met my parents, and all of my siblings, except for my older brother and his wife. It's crazy to think that just one year ago, I was not at all excited to go to my brother's wedding. We had not been close in years and we had a rather <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">antagonistic</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">relationship</span>.<div><br /></div><div>What a difference a year makes! Since coming out to this brother (as well as my other siblings), I have gotten much closer to all of them. For whatever reason, it is easier to communicate to most (maybe all) of my siblings now that I have left the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">LDS</span> Church. My brother in particular was so much nicer and more pleasant to be around. And I suppose I was too. The good news: they all love Max. The bad news: they might love Max more than me. :P Oh, and Dad was a complete... well I can't think of the right word. Let's just say that Dad has a long way to go. I thought my dad was past the point where he only loved me inasmuch as I was an active Mormon, but I guess that is not the case. He pretty much ignored me and Max the whole time we were there. Actually, he did ignore Max despite the fact that we were staying in their home, and he did his best to ignore me.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have never really had the best <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">relationship</span> with my dad, since he has never been very happy with my decisions. Stupid <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Mormons</span> would probably say that that is why I am gay; because I have a bad <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">relationship</span> with my dad. Quite to the contrary, I have a bad <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">relationship</span> with my dad because I am gay. He was never happy with my decisions. He hated the fact that I hated playing baseball as a kid. It's too bad I had to play a sissy sport like water polo. It drove him crazy that I did not care to learn about cars, though I did drive a 1966 Mustang in high school. I even remember when I was admitted to the accounting program at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">BYU</span> and he thought that it was a bad move. Pretty much, he was never happy with anything I did, except for going to church, doing missionary work, etc. Because of this, I have never felt any sort of obligation to keep my dad in the loop, and he is well aware that none of his children trust him or go to him for anything.</div><div><br /></div><div>Oh, that reminds me, the bishop that married my sister counseled her and her husband to show their children love, or face the fact that some day their children may not want to be around them. I let out an audible laugh at that point, but Dad did not hear it because, alas, all of us kids did not sit by him at my sister's wedding. I kinda of hope that that statement hit close to home for him, because it should.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, I called my mom the day after I got home and let her know that she can tell my dad I am not the least bit interested in including him in my life if he cannot respect me, Max, my happiness, and my decisions. She said she would have a frank discussion with him before he heads back to South America in a couple of weeks. At this point in my life, I feel like I have given about as much as I can to my dad. I have tried SO many times to connect with him, but he just does not seem to care about anything in my life that is important to me. We'll see. And at this point, since everybody else in my family is so caring and supportive, I think why bother?</div><div><br /></div><div>Considering how well I turned out despite not having a good dad, my kids are going to be so lucky to have two! =) </div><div><br /></div><div>Oh, and did I mention how cool my uncle is? He lives up in the bay area with his family, and flew out the morning of the wedding. He already knew about Max and I, and was excited to meet Max and talk with us. He is active in the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">LDS</span> Church and it was such a relief to hear someone who was absolutely opposed to the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">LDS</span> Church's <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">involvement</span> in Prop 8. He is very intelligent and very successful in life, and it was so nice to see that not everyone bought into the BS that the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">LDS</span> Church put out about Prop 8.</div>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-64288307676018057652009-06-18T22:28:00.000-07:002009-06-18T23:07:53.028-07:00Facing EastSo Max and I went and saw <a href="http://www.playbill.com/events/event_detail/16037-Facing_East_at_International_City_Theatre">Facing East</a> tonight. For those who have not heard of it, it is a play that takes place at the grave of Andy, a gay Mormon who committed suicide. Andy's parents are left to consider what led to their son's suicide, and at the end are met by Andy's boyfriend, Marcus. I enjoyed it, and it definitely got better throughout the show. In my opinion, Carol Lynn Pearson was pretty spot on in terms of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">LDS</span> culture and beliefs. I could see my mom in the character Ruth (Andy's mom) so much. I think it also helped me understand some of the thoughts that my mother has had.<div><br /></div><div>One thing that I have thought about recently and that was really driven home in the play was how <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">LDS</span> mothers often feel. Because many <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">LDS</span> mothers (including my own) do not have careers outside of the home, they are very much defined by how "successful" their families. Now, my family has their fair share of crazy, but I would say overall, my mom has a lot to be proud of. </div><div><br /></div><div>Unfortunately, in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">LDS</span> circles, my mom probably does not have a whole lot to brag about. Out of her five kids, one is married in the temple, one served a mission (me), and she has only two grandchildren. Number three is on the way, but since my sister is getting married next week, and her daughter will be born in September, that's probably not much to brag about among other Mormons. I often wonder how my mom handles that part of Utah/<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">LDS</span> culture. My parents have lived there for almost 3 years now, and by Mormon standards, things have gotten significantly worse. Ruth (Andy's mother in Facing East) breaks down a couple of times during the play and you see how terrified she is of being considered a "failure."</div><div><br /></div><div>Besides the obvious tragedy of Andy's suicide, this is the other impression that Facing East left on my mind. Mormonism is not just unduly hard on gays, but I would also say mothers. The success of their families in placed on them, and any failure is usually implied to be their fault.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, overall, I really enjoyed Facing East. There definitely were a few moments when the audience was pretty choked up, and I couldn't help but think how lucky I am to not only get out alive, but to have a relatively supportive family. I feel so blessed to be in the situation I am in, and someday when I am a little bit more established, I would really like to be able to provide a safe home for gay Mormons who feel they have no where to go. Being one who has often felt at the end of my line, it kills me to think of the gay Mormons out there that feel so desperate and torn by the paradigm thrust upon us. </div><div><br /></div><div>If any of you are in Southern California within the next couple of weeks, I recommend seeing the show. It is playing at the <a href="http://www.ictlongbeach.org/index.html">International City Theatre</a> in Long Beach through the first weekend of July.</div>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-53641133335838238002009-06-17T13:21:00.000-07:002009-06-17T14:24:07.536-07:00Moving OnAbout a month ago, I wrote a letter resigning my membership in the LDS Church. Don't worry, it hasn't made it out of my "My Documents" folder, yet. But the truth is, I don't really believe in Mormonism anymore, or really religion in general. I won't go into details here, but suffice it to say, I mostly see religion as a mix of cultural traditions mixed with superstitious beliefs. Religion fills a need in peoples' lives, and for many years, Mormonism did just that for me: it gave my life meaning. In more recent times, it left my life with a larger void, and I decided to opt out. <div><br /></div><div>Well on Monday night, some well-meaning members of the Goldenwest Singles Ward showed up inviting me to some activities. It's about freakin' time! I mean, I have lived here since August, and this is the first time someone stops by?! For those of you that know me well, I promise I was nice to them. :P They brought me some goodies and told me about all the great "sisters" in the ward (at which point they probably saw my eyes roll out of my head and me hold back the laughter just a bit). I told them that I had attended BYU, served a mission, and that after Prop 8 I made a decision to leave the LDS Church. I thanked them for stopping by and they went on their way.</div><div><br /></div><div>Later that evening I went to the gym and the little devil on my shoulder got me thinking. Maybe it would be more fun to not resign my membership, and instead to hold out and let them keep coming by. I mean, I could have some fun with these kids. But really, I think it is about time for me to move on.</div><div><br /></div><div>I told my mom about my plans to leave the Church a few weeks ago and she seemed a little upset, but I guess I don't really see the point in waiting to be excommunicated, assuming they eventually did excommunicate me. I guess I see excommunication as something for people who still believe in Mormonism and think that they have done something wrong. Plus if they were to excommunicate me, I would not show up to any of that anyway, so I guess for me this is just the simplest thing to do. </div><div><br /></div><div>This post may come as a big surprise to people, but really I have thought about this a lot over the past year. Oh, and to those who say that it is okay to leave the church, now I just need to leave it alone, I promise I will leave the LDS Church alone as soon as they leave me and my legal rights alone.</div><div><br /></div><div>On an unrelated note, if you have not read Formerly Barred's most recent <a href="http://formerlybarred.blogspot.com/2009/06/its-only-beginning-to-find-release.html">post</a>, you really need to. It may be my favorite post ever.</div>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-49646501504497749442009-05-12T22:09:00.000-07:002009-05-12T22:35:36.920-07:00Thank goodness order has been restored to the kingdom<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So it seems like just about everyone has made some sort of comment about Ms. California. I waited for someone to mention what I was thinking the whole time, but nobody ever did. But now that another honorable member of our society has determined that Ms. Prejean will keep her crown and her reign of terror over Californians will continue, I thought I would add my two cents because, well, I always do.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">First, off let me say that I don't think what Perez Hilton said was called for. But who cares, I mean the guy is a celebrity blogger, he makes money by causing controversy. Who had even heard of him before all this mess anyway? But let's look past all the fiery words and anger, to what Ms. Prejean actually said.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">When asked if she thought gay marriage should be legalized, she said, "</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one way or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Um, what? She thinks it's great that we live in a country where people can choose? Interesting, from all of the hoopla that followed, never did I gather that she supported equal marriage rights or freedom for all.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">If that is what she actually believes, then she should have had no problem clarifying that she believes that all should have the freedom to marry, but that her religious beliefs did not include gay marriage. I personally don't care what her religion says about gays. Religions have a pretty strong track record of being wrong. But if she could just follow her own belief that Americans should be able to choose one way or the other, she could have saved herself a lot of crap.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">But what do we expect from someone who poses for semi-nude photos and then lies about it, has a boob job in order to improve her chances of winning a beauty competition, and then breaks multiple parts of her contract? But I for one am glad that she got to keep her crown. The last thing we need is another martyr for the anti-marriage crowd(though I am sure she considers herself on equal footing with Paul). I think anyone with an objective eye can recognize that she is pretty hypocritical in her beliefs, but oh well. At least she can now move on and focus on her royal duties, whatever those are. I am sure there is a WalMart somewhere that is having a ribbon cutting ceremony that she is attending.</span></span></div>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-87338750097878607752009-05-10T13:49:00.000-07:002009-05-10T14:04:47.054-07:00For all the moms<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(85, 26, 139); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); white-space: pre; font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;"><div style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10px; "><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DeahDax24Dg&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DeahDax24Dg&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></span><br /></div></span></span>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-25790463968085094382009-05-06T00:12:00.000-07:002009-05-06T00:44:59.140-07:00Zion's CampLet me be the first to call it as it is. A few years down the road from now, when Prop 8 is just a distant bad memory that will leave many of us thinking, "Did that really happen? Here? In the Golden State?;" faithful Mormons will begin comparing the campaign against gays to Zion's Camp. <div><br /></div><div>For those that are not familiar with Zion's Camp, feel free to read up on it on <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zion's_Camp"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Wikipedia</span></a>. To give a brief synopsis, the Mormons were driven from Missouri and forced to abandon their property; Joseph Smith received a revelation that they needed to go back and fight for it; a group of 200 members (mostly men) followed Joseph Smith back to fight; after much tribulation, a couple of miracles, and a long trek back to Jackson County, Joseph Smith received a revelation that they were to head back to Ohio without redeeming Zion. Many of the members were upset and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">lost</span> faith, but many of those that remained faithful became leaders in the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">LDS</span> Church. Today this story is shared as a faith-promoting story about following the prophet no matter what. </div><div><br /></div><div>Many of those who went on Zion's Camp went back to Ohio discouraged, confused, and upset that the Lord's will did not prevail, but at last they were willing to follow the prophet. The whole thing was just a big test. Back then, the Latter-day Saints failed to regain Zion. Today, Latter-day Saints failed to stop the sea of monogamous gays from obtaining equal protection under the law and raising their families in safety and protection.</div><div><br /></div><div>Just wait, I promise you that you will hear gay marriage being compared to Zion's Camp in a few years from now. Either Prop 8 will be overturned by the Supreme Court, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">DOMA</span> will be overturned, or Californians will vote to grant equal marriage rights, but no matter what, I don't think anybody doubts the eventual outcome. And Mormons will be left wondering, why? Well, you heard it here first. It was all God's will. Just a big test for the Mormons.</div><div><br /></div><div>On a side note, it seems like most believe that the California Supreme Court will uphold Prop 8. If they do, I promise you that Mormons will be done funding the fight against gays and equality will prevail in time. I cannot stop thinking about the middle class <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">LDS</span> family in Sacramento that was interviewed by the <a href="http://www.sacbee.com/295/story/1308945.html">Sacramento Bee</a> because they had donated $50K to the Yes on 8 campaign. I am sure they will become another piece of Mormon folklore about how blessed they were, and I am sure that someday Mormons will be talking about the horrible death that gay rights activists died for going against the Saints. Hell, I may even write a book about it.</div>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-35973966579836486902009-04-19T19:14:00.000-07:002009-05-21T23:52:17.526-07:00Families are Forever: Part 2So, last summer I wrote a pretty nasty blog about my family. While it was pretty honest and what I felt at the time, I decided it's just a bit much, even for me. :P I deleted it.<div><br /></div><div>For those of you that are inclined to believe such things as "God works in mysterious ways," well I have a good one for you. To sum it up, my family is not close. While all of my siblings are relatively close with our parents, and growing up we were are all pretty close, since moving out, we all kind of went our own way. Well, after a good decade of all us us kind of doing our own thing, I think things are going to start changing.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm not sure if I had indicated earlier, but despite coming out to my parents a while ago, none of my siblings knew I was gay. And it was okay in my mind because we weren't' all that close anyway. I only ever talked to my oldest sister on the phone (maybe every couple of months), and other than that I never talked to the others. They didn't call me, I didn't call them, no emails were exchanged, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">nada</span>. At Christmas, we would all see each other for no more than 2 days, and then be back to our own lives.</div><div><br /></div><div>Well, last year before the election, I came out to my oldest sister. Then in early March I came out to my younger brother, then to my other sister, and finally about a week ago I came out to my older brother. Needless to say, they are all supportive (and not the phony Mormon supportive kind). Luckily, all of my siblings are smart enough to understand that people don't choose to be gay, and me marrying a woman is not the best thing to do. For once in my life, I can say I was so glad to have non-active siblings. While I probably used to view them as unhappy because they were not active in church, I no longer believe that. </div><div><br /></div><div>But anyway, the circumstances under which I came out to all of my siblings were different, but it was definitely the right time for each one of them. It goes without saying that we all have challenges in life, and none of my siblings have been able to confide in each other, and especially not me, the golden, returned missionary, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">BYU</span> grad, loves-the-Church-sibling. All 4 of my siblings said the same thing after I came out to them. "Derrick, I feel closer to you right now that I ever have in my life."</div><div><br /></div><div>Suddenly, my older brother who has NEVER called me that I can remember, called just to say hello and see what we were up to and to ask a question about his camera (we have the same one). Suddenly, my younger brother who likewise has never really called me (though I do get an email about every 8 months), starts <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">texting</span> me and telling me to call him. My other sister who I have drifted from in the past few years starts talking to me on g chat regularly, and phone calls with my oldest sister increase in frequency.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Hmm</span>, if I had realized that me being gay would have brought us closer together, I would have gone gay a decade ago. =) All of my siblings are now asking when I am going to come visit with <a href="http://mymormonjourney.blogspot.com/">Max</a>, and wanted me to send pics and info about a him. So Mom, in case you are still wondering why you have a gay son, you now have the answer, it is to bring your family back together. God works in mysterious ways...</div>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-2663492646157197052009-04-09T23:24:00.000-07:002009-04-09T23:51:54.919-07:00Wedding InvitesSo my friend, Violet, and I frequently discuss political issues and issues related to gay rights at work over instant messenger. She is a hard-core Republican, evangelical Christian, who was born and raised in Texas. Get the picture?<div><br /></div><div>I came out to her almost a year ago, and she has been surprisingly supportive at times. We have had MAJOR disagreements about gay marriage and just about every other political topic under the rainbow. She knows about <a href="http://mymormonjourney.blogspot.com/">Max</a> and she knows that things are relatively serious between us. She got married last summer, and unfortunately, I was not able to make it to the wedding in Dallas. I regularly joke with her about when she is going to have a baby, and she asks me when Max and I are getting married.</div><div><br /></div><div>Well, I think we have joked plenty about when I would be sending out the wedding invites and she is always making sure that she would be receiving one, and I think typically I have just kind of said yes. But the other day, I was honest with her. I told her that I would likely never invite her, knowing that she was actually opposed to my marriage.</div><div><br /></div><div>Ooh, was she mad. She asked me why, and I probably did not answer that the right way. I told her because I have self-respect. I told her I would never invite somebody to my wedding that I knew was actually opposed to me marrying the person I love (instead of say, marrying a woman which is the "right" thing to do).</div><div><br /></div><div>Since then, she has been trying to convince me that she is not opposed to me marrying Max or gay families in general. Yet when I asked her if a proposition similar to Prop 8 was placed on the ballot in Virginia, where she is now living, she indicated that she would vote for it. I'm not going to lie, that's ridiculous to me. To say that you support me and want me to be happy, but then vote to invalidate gay families is, well, hypocritical. Maybe I am being too sensitive. But honestly, that is the same BS I get from a lot of my Mormon "friends." They want me to be happy but then they donate money and time to Prop 8. It's like they think I can't actually be happy and that they are doing me a favor by preventing me from destroying society anymore.</div><div><br /></div><div>I just don't know what to say to her. I feel like she is sincere in saying that she wants me to be happy, but how am I supposed to buy that when she is opposed to gay marriage and gay rights in general? Not that it made her feel any better, but I assured her that I have way more "friends" that are not on the invitee list than are. (Oh, this might be a good time to disclose that Max and I are NOT currently planning a wedding, this is really just discussion).</div><div><br /></div><div>So I just have to ask, how do others feel? I guess I just tire of all these "friends" who want me to be happy but then do everything they can to ensure that I am not allowed the same legal protections that they are. Am I being unreasonable for just being honest with these people in telling them that if I were to get married, I would not want them there? I mean, I would still consider them friends and even go visit them, but I just don't feel like I need that on what should be a special day for me, my family, and friends. </div><div><br /></div><div>Thoughts?</div>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-8921205528870443352009-03-01T15:20:00.000-08:002009-03-22T19:45:04.493-07:00I am a lazy blogger...So a couple of people have asked me recently why I stopped writing on my blog. I guess I never really feel like I started writing. My blogging has usually been pretty sporadic at best, but I guess I will just give a brief update.<div><br /></div><div>As promised back in November, I stopped attending Church. Actually, now that I think about it, I really only went once between August and Novmeber anyway, but needless to say I have only gone once since Election Day, and that was at Christmas. My mom already knew I wasn't going, but if she wanted me to go with her and my dad, I could easily agree to go to a ward where neither they or I knew anybody (my parents have been Church service misssionaries ever since moving to Utah and don't attend their neighborhood ward, alhtough we did go to their "home ward" that week).</div><div><br /></div><div>So where does thil leave me? Strangely, happier than ever. I was always too terrified to stop going to Church because I was almost certain that I would be miserable outside the Church. I'm not going to lie, I was happy going to Church and enjoyed it for the most part(despite never having any LDS friends). I never really did it because I felt obligated to, but legitamately enjoyed attending Church activities, the temple (I went almost weekly for most of the time after my mision), and particiapting in other Church activities. But that could only last as long as I pretended to be who they wanted me to be. And as long as my loneliness could be ignored when I was too preoccupied with school. But since I am now done with school and working way too many hours in public accounting, I long for what so many other long for, companionship, love, and a purpose for life. The Church would tell me to forget myself and serve others...apparently viewing same-sex relationships as a waste and contributing nothing to society. If I can't fit their mold for a family, they would rather I have two callings and go to the temple more. And while, those are valid activities, and perhaps others can actually fill their life with that, a new phase in my life began in which I was no longer able to go it alone. And more importatntly, I did not want to. I chose love and companioship over loneliness and depression (Mormons read: I chose Satan over Jesus, I know that's what you're all thinking). :P</div><div><br /></div><div>But anyway, I am not super angry at the Chuch or anything (though I won't think twice about pointing out some of the hypocrisy in their practices), I am just done with it. I appreciate all the positive things it was able to contribute to my life, and for the friends and experiences it has provided me with (though I am learning that many of those "friends" weren't real anyway). Luckily, many of them are real friends and I am even closer with some of them since there is no more lying and BSing with each other. Many are way more willing to open up to me now that I have to them, and I feel like I am in a better position to actually help others. It's amazing how many people open up to you when they no longer see you as "perfect," which is what so many Latter-day Saints want to be perceived as, drivng away others in their quest for perfection (or at least perception of perfection).</div><div><br /></div><div>So anyway, not that it is anyone else's business, but I am coming up on one year of dating (and 8 months of living with) someone that I legitimately love and want to build a life with. For once in my life, I understand why people get married. You see, when gay men pretend to like women and they date them, it's more like a chore. Once you date someone you are actually attracted to physically and emotionally, dating becomes fun. It was like, oh, this is why people live with each other. Duh.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anywho, so that is where I am at right now. My family is coming to terms with all of this. My oldest sister (who I know reads this, hi Jenn!) has been very loving and accepting towards (hmm, I am not sure he wants me to disclose his identity, so he can remain annonous for now....) Mr. X, and I love her for that. Mom and Dad are coming to grips with it (I hope) and I came out to my younger brother and as expected, he is indifferent, so now I just need to tell two more siblings, neither of whom I think will be surprised, and neither of whom will react poorly.</div><div><br /></div><div>When I look back on my older blog posts, I see an angst ridden, emotionally unstable person, who is no more. For once, I feel like my future looks bright. My job is WAY more tolerable now, and I almost might go as far as to say that I enjoy it. I look forward to having a family some day (Mr. X and I are always arguning over who gets to stay home with the kids, and who has to keep working; I think I am losing that fight so far...)</div><div><br /></div><div>This week the Supreme Court of California is hearing arguments on Prop 8, and I guess at this point, I don't want to get too optimistic. Either way, the fight for equality is far from over, and I no longer plan on being passive about it all. Anyone who is friends with me on Facebook knows I stopped being passive about this a while ago. I will try to keep this blog slightly more up to date, but no promises. This one was for you Steph.</div>D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-15231337147982483242008-11-06T22:40:00.000-08:002008-11-06T22:52:53.999-08:00Too little, too lateThe Church released a <a href="http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/news-releases-stories/church-responds-to-same-sex-marriage-votes">statement </a>today about Prop 8 and the other ballot initiatives against gay marriage.<br /><br />I guess all I can say, is that for me it is too little too late. I don't rule out returning to the Church someday, but I won't be there in the immediate future.<br /><br />A couple lines I find interesting...<br /><br />"Allegations of bigotry or persecution made against the Church were and are simply wrong. " But I guess those made (and still being made) against the other side must be true and right.<br /><br />"Voting choices by Latter-day Saints, like all other people, are influenced by their own unique experiences and circumstances." Too bad this was never mentioned before. My unique experiences and circumstances were never a valid reason before for me deciding to vote no.<br /><br />"No one on any side of the question should be vilified, intimidated, harassed or subject to erroneous information. " It's too bad that during the campaign the Church could not have been more vocal in advocating against erroneous information that ultimately led to the passage of Prop 8.<br /><br />That's all. Just how I feel right now.D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-64628797303620992312008-10-12T14:08:00.000-07:002008-10-13T17:18:48.863-07:00Feeling SadSo today was the first time in my life, where I just did not go to Church. All week long I have been bombarded by "Yes on 8" invitations on Facebook, emails, and reminders that my church feels it is okay to deny others the freedom to live their lives according to their desires and beliefs. As Sunday neared, and I remembered that thousands of Latter-day Saints would be fasting today that Prop 8 would pass, I about had an anxiety attack. Part of me really wanted to go. To stand up for what I believe in. To see what would really happen in testimony meeting. And to let people know that some Latter-day Saints are not in favor of Prop 8. Instead, I stayed home. The thought of seeing people that I ordinarily would respect and love, stand up and spread lies about Prop 8, made me want to vomit.<br /><br />How is it the one thing that used to be the only constant in my life, the only source of peace, has suddenly become the biggest source of anxiety and sadness. I remember writing about one year ago that I was not sure where my life would be one year from then, and I guess I was right.<br /><br />I have talked with a lot of my LDS friends about my feelings about Prop 8, and this morning I realized why the Yes on 8 people are using lies and fear to spread their message. It's pretty simple really: it's the only way that they are going to win. See once you speak with someone about the facts surrounding the issue, and they realize that the arguments in favor or Prop 8 that they are hearing are BS, most Latter-day Saints are only left with one reason to vote yes on Prop 8. And that is that the Church has asked them to. At which point there is not a whole lot else I can say. But this made me realize something. This is why they have resorted to spreading lies and fear, because you can't win an election in California just because the LDS Church wants people to vote a certain way. Yeah, in Utah the Church can say, "vote this way" on an issue and trust that it will go they way they want, but here in California where we only make up about 2% of the population, that just doesn't work. So instead you ensure that the 2% are going to vote a certain way, and then send them out to spread lies and create panic among their neighbors. Really, it's a genius strategy.<br /><br />And this is exactly what has happened this past week. In case you did not hear, Prop 8 polls show it now has more supporters than those who oppose the proposition. And why you may ask? Because suddenly this is not a campaign about gays being able to get married, it is about freedom or religion and what the kids will be taught in school. I guess the strategy is to distract the voters by telling them that somehow monogamous gays are going to take away their right to practice their religion. It's genius really when you think about it. Sadly, most people will fall for it.<br /><br />For those that have not already read it, I recommend reading an <a href="http://www.mormonsformarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/secondversionresponsestosixconsequencesifprop8fails1.pdf">article</a> posted by Morris A. Thurston about the inaccuracies in Prop 8 literature. I have shared this with a close friend of mine who is an attorney and knows Thurston personally, and had the following to say about him: "As for Thurston and his article above--my family knows him well, and he's a nice, if not absent-minded, guy. Actual lawyers reading his article are snorting milk through their nose." I guess I feel like I should let you know what an actual attorney thinks about him, but then again, that is just her opinion. If you want to read about her legal stuff (that I don't understand very well, so it could all just be lies) go ahead and read it <a href="http://gr8prop8deb8.blogspot.com/">here</a>.<br /><br />I guess name-calling is the easy way to not respond to the issues. Seems to work well in politics. She argued that there is no guarantee that religion will not be effected by permitting gay marriage to continue, which come to think of it, either did I. My big issue is the absolute bullshit that passes as fact. My concern is that an organization that is so concerned with truth as the Church is, is encouraging lies and deception to be used to convince people to vote yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. The Church is not the one doing this, it is the Prop 8 folks, but let's be real, they're the same people. The Church did this very well. Instead of getting officially involved in an issue that they are legally allowed to, they would rather have its members do it so that they do not have to take any blame for the way campaign is run, when in reality, they are orchestrating the whole thing. I mean really, setting up a phone bank in Utah so that members there can make calls to Californians?<br /><br />So I guess, this will probably be the first of about 104 posts I make about Prop 8, but I guess I just needed to get this off my chest. Next time I promise not to be so scatter-brained and random, but I guess right now I am just upset that I feel so attacked by my church. Oh, but on a better note, I talked to my parents about Prop 8, and was VERY surprised to hear from my parents (especially my dad) that they think the way the Church is handling this is awful and that ultimately the Church will end up regretting this, similar to the civil rights fight of the 1950's and 1960's. My dad also was sickened to hear how much money is being wasted on this stupid campaign. It's pretty amazing what good could be done with $25M. But instead it is being squandered on a hateful campaign to not recognize others' families and impose a certain belief on others.<br /><br />Well that is all, I don't know if anyone reads this, but there will probably be a lot more showing up here in the next few weeks...D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-4164336970014228372008-07-28T22:34:00.000-07:002008-10-06T21:26:19.809-07:00Prop 8Where do I start. It's been over a month since they read the letter in Sacrament Meeting encouraging members to support Proposition 8. A week before they read the letter, I had already read a copy of it, and even before that, I expected a letter of some sort. I remember all too well the Prop 22 days. I was only 17 at the time, but I remember clearly a couple Sundays when things got pretty nasty. I propose right now that we suspend Testimony Sunday until after November.<br /><br />But anyway, I guess I am writing this to just vocalize my thoughts and feelings about the whole thing. My first reaction to the letter being read was sadness. I was surprised at how emotional I got as they read the letter. For the first time in my life, I felt like the church and belief system that I had always lived and loved, was now working against me. I remember sitting there next to my room mate, Pete, and just feeling sick to my stomach. I was surprised at how much it hurt. I suddenly felt like an outsider being attacked. But instead of an enemy, it was the faith that had brought me so much joy and peace, was suddenly overwhelming me with anxiety and sorrow. To give the bishop credit, he read it tactfully, and sat down without adding anything else. I went home that day with a lot on my mind.<br /><br />A couple weeks passed, and I, perhaps naively, hoped that that was the last of it that I would have to hear. I suspected that in a family ward more would be said/done on the subject, but I kind of hoped that in a singles ward, where people are occupied with so many other things, that that would be the last of Prop 8. It was mentioned here and there again in passing, but nothing much was ever discussed on the subject.<br /><br />Then yesterday in Sacrament Meeting the High Councilor and his wife were both asked to speak on the subject. To give them credit, they did it in a very tactful, and roundabout way. Perhaps the Bishop/Stake President asked them to tread lightly knowing that there are a number of people in the ward who are gay or struggle with SSA, SGA, or however they define themselves. But despite even the best intentions, I was hurt. I felt like I was being attacked. I'm being asked to support a cause which will only cause more pain and sorrow among people who are gay. This type of rhetoric in my opinion only further encourages hate and discrimination. I know the Church officially discourages these types of behaviors, but something has to be said for how the members act and why they apparently feel that it is okay to treat others in the hateful and disrespecful ways that they sometimes do.<br /><br />During their talks, I again felt surprised at how hurt I was and how sad I was. The speakers really were trying to be tactful, but the underlying message was still there. When Sacrament Meeting ended, I made a beeline for the door. I didn't make it far before a couple of people in the ward stopped me to ask me how I was doing. I put my sunglasses on to hide my eyes which were starting to tear up. I ended the conversations with them as soon as possible, and then headed out the door. By the time I got to my car I was pretty shaken up. I really was having a hard time with this. I went home and went back to bed. I felt sick.<br /><br />After a good long nap yesteday, I woke up feeling a lot better. I know that nothing was meant to be offensive, but I guess I just wish the Church would just let the issue be. I have no doubt that the vast majority of the members of the Church would support the amendment regardless, so why must they be so vocal in their support of it?<br /><br />Today seemed like it was going to be better until I got an email from the ward indicating that tonight's FHE was going to be given by the Bishop and that it would be a special presntation on Prop 8. Ugh. OK, not that I always go to FHE anyway, but suddenly the anxiety was coming back. I just wish they wouldn't turn this into a "moral issue." What about every other moral issue that the Church remains silent on. Oh well, in a few months it will all be over. And if Californians vote how I hope they do, things might be a little different in a few months.D-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5106209299048803755.post-54950954207036912902008-07-13T18:29:00.000-07:002008-07-13T19:00:58.288-07:00AddictionSo, from reading other Moho's blogs, I have noticed that many others have the same addiction problem I do. The cycle seems to repeat over and over. I struggle with the self-indulgence for a while (and I can't lie, I always love the temporary excitement and pleasure), but then I find myself beating myself up over it. I get depressed, I wish I could just stop, I hate myself, etc, etc. After struggling with it for a while, I finally reach a point where I have the self-control to stop. I stop cold-turkey; and I last a few days, a few weeks, or sometimes even a few months. This last fast lasted a whopping 4 months (that might be a new record for me). I thought I had finally rid myself of this addiction. But alas, old habits die hard, and this habit had unfortunately gotten an early start in my life. Probably too early. I'm embarrassed to admit how old I was the first time I took part in this transgression.<br /><br />So last week I had a rough week. Work was not going well and I was stressed about some upcoming things I have to do. I was anxious and upset, and a moment of weakness had arrived. There I was at the store, and of course something on the shelf caught my eye. Before I knew it, I had put it in basket. I hoped nobody had seen me put it int he basket as shame engulfed me. Of course I get to the checkout, and the worst part has yet to come. I try not to make eye contact with the cashier as I make my purchase. My mind races as I drive home and I can't wait to open it up and partake of the empty enjoyment.<br /><br />I got home, tore it open and threw the self-control out the window. It felt good, I'm not going to lie. Especially after 4 months, it was so good to treat myself to one of my guilty pleasures. Yes, after 4 long months, there was once again Chips Ahoy in the house. I am so addicted to cookies! :PD-Trainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17473393837732916277noreply@blogger.com2